Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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