my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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