We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
