The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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