he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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