Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
