I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
