was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
