You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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