sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
