It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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