My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
