I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
