call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
