i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
