I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
