I just pynch a tree in the face
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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