woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize