This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
