Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
