We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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