I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
