Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
