everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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