Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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