when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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