is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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