if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
