Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
