I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
