if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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