we're blogging at a bar
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
All the doctor said was why
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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