I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
