I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
