why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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