Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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