Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize