So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
