What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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