What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
