when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
