just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
