So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
