it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
