I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
