I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
