he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
