I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
