There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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