You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
