You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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