This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
