Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
