Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
