oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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