i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
