u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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