ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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