I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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