why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
