Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
